Our Struggle With Sin

Romans 7:7-25
Lord I am going to church today. I didn't want to go, but I checked the schedule and saw I'm on Eucharistic ministry today. Give me strength to do my job. Lord I ask you to tell me what to do. I will admit that he is my true love, my soulmate, my heart, but how do I manage this world that keeps us apart. He stopped showing me attention long ago. He asked once to marry me and never asked again. He's comfortable where he is, he doesn't have a need for me. He is content with or without me. He's indifferent. He could care less about whether we are together or not. Lord you tell me to stay every time I ask you should I go, so stay I will, but it breaks my heart in two. I don't know if I can stand the pain. Why doesn't he just move on to another woman, he doesn't want me anymore, he may already has and I'm the one still hanging on to nothing.