Stop Judging and evaluating yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t look for affirmation in the wrong place or from the wrong people. The source of real affirmation is God’s unconditional love.
Be receptive to love. Be receptive to God’s unconditional love.
Reading today Jeremiah 25:12-26:16 judgement on the nations, mercy and grace for Jeremiah for speaking God’s word. Glory be to God. Be blessed and be a blessing to someone, My Love.
Wednesday, February 28, 2018
Tuesday, February 27, 2018
Tuesday
Living in the present is hard. The here and now. Trusting God for your next step and not worrying about the future. Where is the balance between trusting in God for your daily bread and planning for your survival. We have no control over our future. We could drop at any moment. Knowing this, we live in the moment. Take care of what is in front of us now. Put our energies in the present. Trust God to guide us and keep us safe. Trust in God and believe his word. Love and be loved today, My Love.
Reading today Matthew 27:62- Mark 1:1-19 He is risen before women first. Men scheme to conceal the truth. John the Baptist baptizes Jesus, Jesus recruits more apostles for his cause.
Reading today Matthew 27:62- Mark 1:1-19 He is risen before women first. Men scheme to conceal the truth. John the Baptist baptizes Jesus, Jesus recruits more apostles for his cause.
Monday, February 26, 2018
Monday
I know now, why God was taking me to Daniel, the fasting plan for lent and the rest of out lives. We are connected, even when we don't know. God is leading me, step by step, if I will trust that his promise is to care for me. Now its Zechariah 7:10 - 9:5, literally God has a plan. "They shall be my people and I will be their God, in truth and righteousness".
I pray that God is with me and my students today. Let no weapon formed against us prosper. Let their minds be ready and prepared for the day.
I pray that you have a blessed day. Your hopes, and prayers are meant to be heard. I have to take the fall of love and trust. Just do it. JUST BELIEVE IT IS SO. YOU DO LOVE ME AND I LOVE YOU. END OF STORY.
I pray that God is with me and my students today. Let no weapon formed against us prosper. Let their minds be ready and prepared for the day.
I pray that you have a blessed day. Your hopes, and prayers are meant to be heard. I have to take the fall of love and trust. Just do it. JUST BELIEVE IT IS SO. YOU DO LOVE ME AND I LOVE YOU. END OF STORY.
Sunday, February 25, 2018
Love Train
Get on the love train. I truly believe that is one of the biggest problems with our culture now. We just don’t care about one another’s well being.we have to care. It’s so easy not to care though. We are trained at a young age to think of ourselves only. I want to care more. I feel I have always cared and it’s been a liability instead of an asset. Why should caring be bad. Our mental health is so important, yet we don’t place any emphasis in our culture on mental health and caring for one another. We have to break that trend. I’m thinking of going to D.C. it’s my birthday, and what better way to celebrate than to attend a national march, with you, My Love.
Today was good. I liked seeing you. You make me feel better. Just being around you is a plus today. Thank God for small blessings.
Today was good. I liked seeing you. You make me feel better. Just being around you is a plus today. Thank God for small blessings.
Friday, February 23, 2018
No Self Pity Today
when I spend time praising the Lord, I do not have time to pity myself. It’s impossible to feel sorry for myself if I’m praising the Lord.
Zechariah 7:10-9:5 keep me grounded in God for today. Heed God’s Word.
Zechariah 7:10-9:5 keep me grounded in God for today. Heed God’s Word.
Thursday, February 22, 2018
I Missed You
I know that I don’t always post in my blog, but when I don’t see an email from you with a verse of the day, I get sad. I miss that one bit of daily contact from you. I imagine that you alone pick the scripture and it is meant especially for me. I need to believe that I mean something to you and that you are communicating to me.
If I am going to tear down this wall I realize I have to become vulnerable. I have to trust. Trust that your intentions are not to harm. I don’t think that you would intentionally harm, just maybe through neglect. I feel the twinges of vulnerability come and I know there are going to be a lots of tears with it. Holding on to the wall has become so labor intensive. It’s like I’m ready to just let go, no matter what happens. I know that I should, I know that makes sense, I know, I know, I know.
Let go of the wall. Become vulnerable. Open yourself up for love, criticism and all that goes with it. It can be good, or it can be bad. Tear down the wall. My Love, I missed you.
If I am going to tear down this wall I realize I have to become vulnerable. I have to trust. Trust that your intentions are not to harm. I don’t think that you would intentionally harm, just maybe through neglect. I feel the twinges of vulnerability come and I know there are going to be a lots of tears with it. Holding on to the wall has become so labor intensive. It’s like I’m ready to just let go, no matter what happens. I know that I should, I know that makes sense, I know, I know, I know.
Let go of the wall. Become vulnerable. Open yourself up for love, criticism and all that goes with it. It can be good, or it can be bad. Tear down the wall. My Love, I missed you.
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
Let It Go
I have to let it go. I never assume that you love me or that you even know who I am. I have a love hate relationship with this blog. On the one hand I believe and know it to be true that you love me, you read this and you have faith that one day, there is a future for us. We are united with our hearts and soul and spirits. Then I hate it because I its the only thing that unites us and if this is all I have to look forward to, I question the authenticity of this relationship. Its one way. Its always me talking. It drives me crazy because it makes me seem like I'm talking to myself and that's not the crazy I am seeking. I have enough crazy in my life that I don't need to deliberately drive myself crazy by talking to myself. writing in a journal or diary is one thing but writing when you know someone else is reading it make you want comments, questions, conversation, something to acknowledge that you exist and its not just in my head.
I don’t trust my car
i know I said I would try to come tonight but I don’t trust my car. I don’t want to break down in the rain, in the dark, possibly on the expressway. I prefer not to put myself in that situation. I will listen online if the computer is broadcasting tonight. I will miss you.
Sunday, February 18, 2018
Excuses
My Love,
What I heard, my interpretation, my feelings about what was said, may or may not have been your intention, but my feelings are my feelings.
First, I go to church almost every Sunday, unless I am sick, which I have had the flu this season, but then you wouldn’t know that. I attend Victory Cathedral, with pastor Smokie Norfolk, with my mother. She likes him, I’m not impressed. She can’t drive to her usual church, with Bill Winston in Hillside, so I take her to this one that she has chosen, closer to home. We attend the 7:30am service. Then usually she likes to go to the grocery store, then home. I listen to Saint Sabina on the first through third Sundays and on the fourth Sunday, I attend because Isabelle asked me to switch with her for Eucharistic minister duties because she does Sunday school, but you wouldn’t know that either. I wish I could just continue to do whatever I wanted to do with my life regardless of others but I can’t. I have the here and now to think of. The people who are actually in my life and interacting with me on a personal level. People who love me and show me that they love me through their words and actions. Where is this suppose to go? How am I suppose to draw closer if I feel, and 5his is how I feel, I am attacked and threatened for not being a better Christian in your eyes. I will never measure up to the fighting Christian solder you expect or want me to be. I am flawed, I am not perfect. I’m not there today to sit in a pew and stare at you. I love you as best I can. I’m trying to increase my communication back to what must have been a comfortable level for you in this journal. I wanted more and still do. This is not real to me. We must talk to one another face to face. Until that is happening, then this is all fake. I plan to attend Lenten bible study on tuesdays if my car will allow it. My check engine light is on and the cost is going to be almost a thousand dollars, but then you don’t know that either. I don’t deny that you have loads of troubles too, but don’t downplay my troubles either. Just because I’m not stressing my car out to drive almost thirty miles each way for a visit does not mean I don’t want to see you.
I feel, and this is just how I feel, demeaned and less than in your eyes right now. I can’t imagine why you would want to see me. My first thought is , stop it, let’s make some real changes and not just comfortable ones, but then what is really a real change for us?
What I heard, my interpretation, my feelings about what was said, may or may not have been your intention, but my feelings are my feelings.
First, I go to church almost every Sunday, unless I am sick, which I have had the flu this season, but then you wouldn’t know that. I attend Victory Cathedral, with pastor Smokie Norfolk, with my mother. She likes him, I’m not impressed. She can’t drive to her usual church, with Bill Winston in Hillside, so I take her to this one that she has chosen, closer to home. We attend the 7:30am service. Then usually she likes to go to the grocery store, then home. I listen to Saint Sabina on the first through third Sundays and on the fourth Sunday, I attend because Isabelle asked me to switch with her for Eucharistic minister duties because she does Sunday school, but you wouldn’t know that either. I wish I could just continue to do whatever I wanted to do with my life regardless of others but I can’t. I have the here and now to think of. The people who are actually in my life and interacting with me on a personal level. People who love me and show me that they love me through their words and actions. Where is this suppose to go? How am I suppose to draw closer if I feel, and 5his is how I feel, I am attacked and threatened for not being a better Christian in your eyes. I will never measure up to the fighting Christian solder you expect or want me to be. I am flawed, I am not perfect. I’m not there today to sit in a pew and stare at you. I love you as best I can. I’m trying to increase my communication back to what must have been a comfortable level for you in this journal. I wanted more and still do. This is not real to me. We must talk to one another face to face. Until that is happening, then this is all fake. I plan to attend Lenten bible study on tuesdays if my car will allow it. My check engine light is on and the cost is going to be almost a thousand dollars, but then you don’t know that either. I don’t deny that you have loads of troubles too, but don’t downplay my troubles either. Just because I’m not stressing my car out to drive almost thirty miles each way for a visit does not mean I don’t want to see you.
I feel, and this is just how I feel, demeaned and less than in your eyes right now. I can’t imagine why you would want to see me. My first thought is , stop it, let’s make some real changes and not just comfortable ones, but then what is really a real change for us?
Thursday, February 15, 2018
Lent
My Love,
All that you say is true. My wall is like the Great Wall of China’s wall. I want it down but it has been there for a very long time and it has provided protection. Some times it isn’t strong enough and I still get hurt, so I reinforce it for the next time. I’m going to exercise more so I don’t have so much idle time on my hands, I can’t afford to drive to the City. I’m going to Seattle for the whole month of May, I’m having a new granddaughter. New scenery and new people. I’m taking classes online for my LBS1 endorsement so that I am more hirable and I can get out of just being a substitute. Life goes on for those who are here. My assignment is to tear down the wall!
All that you say is true. My wall is like the Great Wall of China’s wall. I want it down but it has been there for a very long time and it has provided protection. Some times it isn’t strong enough and I still get hurt, so I reinforce it for the next time. I’m going to exercise more so I don’t have so much idle time on my hands, I can’t afford to drive to the City. I’m going to Seattle for the whole month of May, I’m having a new granddaughter. New scenery and new people. I’m taking classes online for my LBS1 endorsement so that I am more hirable and I can get out of just being a substitute. Life goes on for those who are here. My assignment is to tear down the wall!
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
My Love
Happy Valentines Day , My Love.
I will be getting my ashes tonight.
God is Good.
All the time.
And All the Time, God is Good.
I will be getting my ashes tonight.
God is Good.
All the time.
And All the Time, God is Good.
Tuesday, February 13, 2018
Good Morning My Love
My Love, may God bless you and keep you close all day
God knows what you need and will provide for you in every way
God knows what you need and will provide for you in every way
Sunday, February 11, 2018
My Love
I know that might draw a warm memory for you. It does for me when I call you “My Love”.
I pray that one day I will be able to tell you that face to face.
My Love
I pray that one day I will be able to tell you that face to face.
My Love
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
February Family
Our Family Meeting
Ephesians 3:14-19
Jesus came to connect us with relationship with each other and with him. Unfortunately we are disconnected. We tell people, "this is not for you". You need to step aside right now. We decide who is valuable and who isn't . We are all valuable. Life is fragile. What memories are you leaving for your families and friends? Have you put them on the back burners of your life because you have more important things to do? Are you willing to love each other in words and deeds? Do you send the person you love any flowers? Do you do any thing special just for them? How do they know that you love them and not just what they can do for you? Questions, questions, questions. Love never fails. We don't stop loving, we just start protecting our hearts from hurting so much.
Ephesians 3:14-19
Jesus came to connect us with relationship with each other and with him. Unfortunately we are disconnected. We tell people, "this is not for you". You need to step aside right now. We decide who is valuable and who isn't . We are all valuable. Life is fragile. What memories are you leaving for your families and friends? Have you put them on the back burners of your life because you have more important things to do? Are you willing to love each other in words and deeds? Do you send the person you love any flowers? Do you do any thing special just for them? How do they know that you love them and not just what they can do for you? Questions, questions, questions. Love never fails. We don't stop loving, we just start protecting our hearts from hurting so much.
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