Let It Go

I have to let it go. I never assume that you love me or that you even know who I am. I have a love hate relationship with this blog. On the one hand I believe and know it to be true that you love me, you read this and you have faith that one day, there is a future for us. We are united with our hearts and soul and spirits. Then I hate it because I its the only thing that unites us and if this is all I have to look forward to, I question the authenticity of this relationship. Its one way. Its always me talking. It drives me crazy because it makes me seem like I'm talking to myself and that's not the crazy I am seeking. I have enough crazy in my life that I don't need to deliberately drive myself crazy by talking to myself. writing in a journal or diary is one thing but writing when you know someone else is reading it make you want comments, questions, conversation, something to acknowledge that you exist and its not just in my head.